Soak it through
Every book dries out if you leave it alone, and every one of them has its own idea of how not to get wet. Hit it hard, keep at it, and watch the soak gauge climb.
Filling up…
A tinkle through the classics
Literature has grown legs.
Soak it anyway.
You are a cartoon willy full of piss. Ten great works of literature are running round ten gorgeous pixel-art rooms, and every one of them would very much prefer not to get wet.
Free. No sign-up. Plays best with a mouse, in Chrome, Edge or Firefox.
The game
An arcade game with a reading list
Point, hold, and let go. The stream arcs where you aim: across the floor, up the wall, and with any luck all over Sense and Sensibility.
Drunk is worth more
Your aim sways and you hiccup, but every point counts double. Ring the bell for a pint and chug it in one.
Know your classics
Books tear out pages to save themselves. One is real, two are forgeries. Piss on the genuine quotation to bank it.
Books fight back
Parasols. Escape attempts. A clear plastic raincoat and an axe. Each book brings its own nasty trick.
Mind your aim
Somebody is always watching. Every drop that misses fills the Disgrace meter, and fill it and you're thrown out.
A tinkle through the classics
The shelf
Ten books. Ten rooms. One bladder.
From a Regency drawing room to Moscow burning, every book gets a hand-drawn room of its own, its own trick, and its own torn-out pages to identify. Soak them all and something else comes off the shelf.
Book 1
Sense and Sensibility
“We felt it lacked the restraint of Miss Austen.”Rejection no. 1, Featherstone & Pyle
?
Books 2 to 10
Nine more classics, nine more rooms, nine more letters. And one that was never on the shelf at all.Soak your way along to meet them.
Meet your hero
Gideon Marsh, novelist. Allegedly.
Two hundred and twelve rejection letters. Every one of them compares him to a classic, and every classic is about to pay for it.
Rejection no. 1
Dear Mr Marsh,
Thank you for sending us The Weight of Rain (690 pages). We felt it lacked the restraint of Miss Austen.
Yours, Featherstone & Pyle
DeclinedHow to play
Hold. Aim. Release.
Hold the mouse button
to pee. The stream lands where you point: the floor, the back wall, or the book.
!!
Hold it in
to build pressure, then let go for a burst that soaks far more. Run dry and you lose.
ding
Ring for a pint
when you're running low. Sweep it up, waggle the mouse to chug, and you're drunk again.
p.137
Spot the real page
One quotation is genuine, two are fakes. Get it right and your literary multiplier climbs.
run
Don't let it escape
Books make a run for it. Hose them down until their nerve breaks and they slink back.
Esc
Pause any time
Escape or P pauses, F goes fullscreen. Your trophies are saved in this browser.
Which browsers does it run in?
Recent Chrome, Edge and Firefox on a desktop or laptop. The game is written in Jai and compiled to 64-bit WebAssembly, which needs a modern browser. If yours can't run it, the player will say so.
Can I play on my phone?
Sort of. It's made for a mouse, but touch works: drag to aim, and hold to pee. Turn your phone sideways.
Is my progress saved?
Yes. The books you've soaked and your best scores are kept in this browser, on this device.
Is this suitable for children?
It's a game about urinating on literature, featuring a cartoon willy and a man who drinks to cope with rejection. Make of that what you will.
Barman! The first of many.
Enjoyed it? Help sober me up: buy me a coffee. (It's going on Pernod. We both know it's going on Pernod.)
